Gilbert Week: Day 6

Well, this will be the last installment of "Gilbert Week."  I know it's been more like a month... but I wanted to finish the series.  I leave you today with some wise words from Eat, Pray, Love:

"The Bhagavad Gita--that ancient Indian Yogic text--says that it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection.  So now I have started living my own life.  Imperfect and clumsy as it may look, it is resembling me now, thoroughly."

Do not judge others just because their lives do not resemble your life or your expectations.

Don't wish for what others have, or to be somebody else.  Their's is not your life to live!  

Let yourself be guided by your own heart, not by society's expectations.

Dare to challenge convention.

Thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert, for being an incredible writer and for sharing

so much of yourself through your work!

Gilbert Week: Day 4

Gilbert on God . . .

"The search for God is a reversal of the normal, mundane worldly order.  In the search for God, you revert from what attracts you and swim toward that which is difficult.  You abandon your comforting and familiar habits with the hope (the mere hope!) that something greater will be offered you in return for what you've given up."

"Devotion is diligence without assurance.  Faith is a way of saying, 'Yes, I pre-accept the terms of the universe and I embrace in advance what I am presently incapable of understanding.'  There's a reason we refer to 'leaps of faith'--because the decision to consent to any notion of divinity is a mighty jump from the rational over to the unknowable."

"Faith is belief in that you cannot see or prove or touch.  Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark.  If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be . . .  a prudent insurance policy."    (All quotes from Eat, Pray, Love)

I love the last part where she says that if we truly knew all the answers, our belief wouldn't really matter anymore.  It would cease to be a "courageous act of humanity."  Lately I've been thinking that if God does exist, how could we possibly claim to know everything about the nature of God and how to pursue God?  Why do we argue about which beliefs are right, when we could never really know the answer to that?  That seems a little arrogant to me.  Really, you know what God is thinking?  You have all the answers to life's mysteries?  But the fact that life is full of mystery shouldn't detract us from trying to figure it out, from seeking answers.  The beauty is in the search to know God.  Ok, now I'm thinking of another quote by Rob Bell.  This was supposed to be an Elizabeth Gilbert post but here it is:

"Being a Christian [or a believer] 

is more about celebrating 

mystery than conquering it." 

- Rob Bell      

Peace and love,

Chelsea

Gilbert Week: Day 3

And while we're on the topic of marriage...  

Q: In the chapter "Marriage and History," you point out that Christians believe marriage to be a sacred union.  Where does this belief stem from and can marriage really be deemed a sacred union?  (This was taken from A Conversation with Elizabeth Gilbert on her official website).

A: Just to be clear-Christian leadership decided that marriage was a sacred union only very recently. The early Christian fathers demonstrated a serious aversion to marriage, believing instead that the only truly sacred state of being was lifelong celibacy and fellowship (in imitation of Christ and the angels.) For the first thousand or so years of Christian history, the church did not concern itself with the business of marriage at all, because marriage was not seen as a sacrament (as opposed to baptism, say, which was always a sacrament); instead, marriage was considered a worldly and secular affair, that had everything to do with sex and property and taxes and women, and nothing to do with the higher concerns of divinity. That changed in the year 1215 AD, when the Catholic church officially took over the marriage business, as a means of exerting greater control over the unions and divorces of European royalty. And since then, Christian leadership has embraced marriage and preached marriage and now is even "defending" marriage. But all that Christian reverence toward marriage is very recent-certainly in contrast to, say, Judaism, where marriage has been considered a noble union for thousands of years (although even in ancient Hebrew society, the union was never considered inviolably sacred: there was always provision for divorce.)  I am not saying that marriage shouldn't be seen as holy or sacred, but I object when those words are used as weapons against individuals within something that should be a private union, and that is almost invariably a complicated one.

More on the topic from Committed:

"So when modern-day religious conservatives wax nostalgic about how marriage is a sacred tradition that reaches back into history for thousands of uninterrupted years, they are absolutely correct, bit in only one respect - only if they happen to be talking about Judaism."  (Committed, p. 58)

"Then-congressman James M. Talent of Missouri undoubtedly spoke for many when he said in 1996, 'It is an act of hubris to believe that marriage can be infinitely malleable, that it can be pushed and pulled around like Silly Putty without destroying its essential stability and what it means to our society.'  The problem with that argument, though, is that the only thing marriage has ever done, historically and definitionally speaking, it to change.  Marriage in the Western world changes with every century, adjusting itself constantly around new social standards and new notions of fairness.  The Silly Putty-like malleability of the institution, in fact, is the only reason we still have the thing at all.  Very few people -- Mr. Talent included, I'll wager -- would accept marriage on its 13th century terms."  (Committed, p. 71)

What I take from this is that we cannot simplify the history of marriage.  I fully respect people and churches who see marriage as a holy union.  I also respect (though I disagree) with churches who want to control who can can get married inside their walls; they are, after all, private institutions.  Just keep in mind that marriage has not always been seen as this intimate, sacred bond.  Historically, it was a secular institution that often had a lot more to do with wealth management and social order.  There was a time when The Church was not involved in marriages at all.  So marriage has evolved... a lot.  And when people say that we have to protect the sanctity of marriage and the way that it's always been... that's just not true.  There is no "way it's always been," even within Christianity.  Of course, marriage can absolutely be a sacred, holy commitment if that is what suits you personally and religiously.  

Thanks, EG, for the fascinating info!

Gilbert Week: Day 2

Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage.  When I first heard this title I was immediately drawn to it and I have no idea why... ok, ok, I may or may not have occasional nightmares that include me getting married to somebody I barely know and me having to cancel the wedding in a very dramatic fashion.  So I definitely have some skepticism and fear when it comes to the commitment of marriage.


Committed is a fascinating exploration of marriage, its history, and its social and cultural implications.  It turns out that the history of marriage and not nearly as simple as some would have us believe.  In the interview below, Gilbert shares how her expectations have changed and talks about the ever-evolving nature of marriage:


Good Reads: Do you feel you have a handle on the marriage thing after writing this book? What do you hope married and serious couples will take away from Committed? 

EG: I've come away with a respect for the institution that I did not expect. I really did think that the more I studied it, the more hostile I would become toward it. The conclusion that I came to at the end, that was inspiring and comforting, is that marriage is not this hidebound institution that is forced upon people, or is one cookie-cutter shape that you have to accept because society says so. 

Marriage is an ongoing, centuries-long social experiment that is mostly controlled by the individuals in the relationships who insist on determining what the relationship terms are going to be. And that's why the terms of marriage change with every century and decade. We're shaping it from the inside. Marriage endures because it evolves. Obviously it does. None of us would accept marriage on its 13th century terms, not even the most conservative people in the country would accept it. So in order for marriage to endure it has to change along with us, and it does that very graciously. And in the end I find there is something kind of moving about it: the fact that people continue to insist on choosing somebody to build a life with. 

Committed also gave me an enormous amount of perspective about myself: I'm an enormous product of my century, I'm a product of my upbringing. I was not aware of the fact that I was entering marriage with the highest set of expectations that humans have ever brought to the institution. It was really good to find that out. It doesn't have to be the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end, the moon and the stars—it can just be the moon. It's enough that it just can be what it is. I've calmed down a lot about what I expect marriage should be in my life.

  

Gilbert Week

It's an Elizabeth Gilbert kind of day!  I just love Elizabeth Gilbert.  Her books Eat, Pray, Love and Committed are two of my all-time favorites and I highly recommend them.  They are entertaining, enlightening, and inspiring!  She writes with great honesty and, to me, just seems like a very genuine person.  

So I've decided to do a short blog series on Elizabeth Gilbert.  Today is the first installment!  I want to share a blurb from an interview she did with Barnes & Noble for "Meet the Writers."

What are your favorite kinds of books to give -- and get -- as gifts?       
My feeling about literature is the same as my feeling about furniture -- it is meant to be used. There's no reason to keep a piece of furniture in your house that is so sacred and rare that you can't put your feet up on it and a dog can't jump up on it. Likewise, a book that sits on a shelf like a piece of porcelain, only to be admired, never to be read again, is a dead book. I try not to make my bookshelves into graveyards, so I'm constantly giving books away by the dozen. The minute I'm finished with a great book, I pass it on. I like to see books circling around, living and breathing and being enjoyed, getting handled and dropped and read in the bathtub and marked up with exclamation points. The more I like the book, the less likely that I'll keep it. 

As far as what I like to receive -- just like every other devoted bookworm, my favorite four words are, "You Gotta Read This."

Love it!  I, on the other hand, am a little more attached to my books.  Hey, I might want to reread them one day!

Happy reading,
Chelsea